Have you stopped yourself from talking about money because you think it is too personal, uncomfortable or a waste of time? Or maybe because you still think that money does not matter to moms as it is a man business? If your answer is “yes” to any of these questions you are not alone! But I must tell you: money matters to moms.
Just like you, for many years I struggled with the same misconception regarding money. Growing up in poverty I had been told that money talk is bad and people who use to talk about money frequently, tend to seem greedy and materialistic. Money was referred as a man thing, not for women.
All those misconceptions regarding money are more common among moms than we can imagine, yet they´re not true. They are usually planted in the early years of our childhood, and they may be the reason why talking about money remains taboo for women. According to a 2015 Fidelity Investments Money FIT Women Study, 4 in every 5 (80%) women are less likely to discuss their finances with friends and family than other traditionally “taboo” topics.
Our financial system is based on money and money is required for almost any goods and services you need. Taking this into consideration, I think it is insane to believe that money doesn´t matter to moms since it is the base of our financial system. This is a big lie we moms have been told which has stopped many of us from getting involved in our finances, from addressing money conversations and from being confident about the way we manage our funds. Therefore, you need to reset your money mindset since it will define the type of relationship you´ll have with money.
First of all, we need to know what money is. According to The Free Dictionary it is:
“A medium that can be exchanged for goods and services and is used as a measure of their values on the market, including among its forms a commodity such as gold, an officially issued coin or note, or a deposit in a checking account or other readily liquefiable account”.
Money is a medium, as per its description, however, since money can have different forms and it can be used to get access to material and non-material goods and services, I prefer to think about money as a tool.
There is an old saying that reads “money is the root of all evil”, which I personally believe is not true. Let´s think about US$1,000 that we buried under the ground for over three years. Chances are that the money will remain the same and so will the ground. Why? Because by itself, money is nothing, but a tool and it can´t alter anything.
Money is neither good nor evil. Money only becomes a good or bad force in the world depending on your relationship with it and your intention when trying to use it. Or as Elizabeth Gilbert says: “money is a powerful but neutral energy source, neither inherently good nor evil but shaped only by the way we use it”.
When you have a negative money mindset you think money is evil and it is out of your reach. Your behavior reflects that you are afraid of money and therefore, you give money the ability to ruin your life. You reject people who usually talk about money because you think they´re greedy, selfish and materialistic, and you prevent yourself from talking about money to your husband, family, and friends in order to avoid being seen the same way. You think you are not intelligent enough to address money talk.
When you have a negative money mindset you´re more likely to experience lack of money since you are preventing yourself to achieve wealth, because you have given your brain the wrong message that money is bad for you and it´ll understand that the less it invests time thinking about money, the better it will be for you.
On the other hand, when you have a positive money mindset you are open to talking about money, you are accepting its importance in your life. You are giving your brain the message that it is good to learn how to deal with money, how to create, how to bless yourself and others through money. As a result, your brain will be ready to help you to develop a rich mom mindset. You are more likely to achieve wealth.
The sooner you understand and accept that money matters to moms, the better for you to shift your mindset regarding money.
5 Reasons Why Money Matters to Moms
Though there are certainly many more reasons why money matters to moms, I chose these five that I know will serve you to realize it is true.
Money matters to moms as it impacts in your physical condition
Losing weight, recovering a good physical condition and better health are some of the goals leading almost every mom´s New Year’s resolution list. To fulfill those goals we need money. You need money for keeping good health’s habits. Some of the best groceries choices—when it comes to food—are organic, which means they are more expensive than the rest.
Working out often demands to go to a gym, where you need to pay a monthly fee, invest in transportation, fuel, and other expenses. Having access to good medical care requires of having money and it can be determinant because, sometimes, the lack or the abundance of money can be the difference between dying and living.
Money matters for moms as it impacts in your emotions
Did you know that fear is one of the most powerful emotions which drives our lives?, and the “fear of not having money” is one of the major fears among Americans. According to a 2016 Chapman University Survey of American Fears, 60% of American women are worried about not having enough money to last through retirement.
During strong financial crises we often hear cases of people that have achieved good wealth as a result of their jobs, but, suddenly, they face some struggles with money and they decide to take their lives. The inability to deal with money issues occurs when you have a weak money mindset. In that condition you allow money to take full control of your emotions, so your emotions are attached to your financial outcomes.
While I write these lines, I can´t stop thinking about my deceased uncle. I loved him, he was one of a kind. He was pretty handsome, smart and graceful. He was also very predictable when it comes to money, though. You could tell if he had or not money by looking at him from two blocks away. My cousins and I used to make bets when he was coming because the way he walked, his clothing, his hair and the expression on his face unveiled the truth.
I can tell my uncle’s self-esteem was attached to the amount of money he owned. When he had money, he used to walk confidently, wearing his best clothing, really ironed, and accompanied by his gold watch, his hair was always wet and shining, and the big smile on his face declared he was happy. He was the most playful man. When he ran out of money, he was scruffy, a completely different person, almost invisible. But the worst part is that he used to avoid any contact with us—his nephews and nieces—because he was angry and sad.
When you allow money to take full control of your emotions, your emotions will be attached to the amount of money you have, and you are more likely to experience ups and downs. Moms can feel happiness or sadness, excitement or depression, connection or isolation.
It is easier to say this than it is to act accordingly, but when you understand money is a tool, with no power to make you feel that way, and that you are the sole person responsible for your feelings, then you´ll be a step forward to a positive money mindset.
Money matters to moms as it impacts in your Relationships
We are social beings and having a good relationship with family and friends is key for us to experience fulfillment and it also requires money. Keeping in touch with relatives and friends can be hard when you don´t have enough money especially if you need to save as much as you can to supply for your basics needs.
Getting married is also about money. Don´t forget about the prenuptial agreement, where the future couple needs to address money issues and sign the terms in advance, even before to start the journey. Later, when you finally got married, you need to share your money with your partner and soon you realized that argues over money are usual and sometimes you may end experiencing financial abuse by your spouse or even divorced.
Money matters to moms as it impacts in your family
As moms, we always pursue the best choices for our family. We want our children to succeed in life. We strive to give them the best education. We strive to keep our family healthy and secure. We like their lives to be full of fun and happiness. There are many different ways we can take to try to fulfill these dreams and all of them will demand the usage of a little or big amount of money. Although, money does not mean quality, usually the best choices in any field will demand a higher investment of money than the rest, especially in the cases of health insurance and education.
Money matters to moms as it impacts in your financial security
Having a house, an emergency fund and savings for retirement are three of the main financial goals many moms have. The achievement of all of these goals will help you to feel more secure about your present and future. In order to fulfill them you´ll need some cash money and a good credit score, however, you won´t have access to any of them unless you start thinking about money as a tool to help you achieve them.
Money matters to moms as it impacts your life in many different ways. We have a huge responsibility to get involved in our finances, not only for ourselves but for the financial future of our kids and the whole family.
Remember, life is not all about money and money is not equal to happiness, but it is a helpful tool in achieving our goals, and keeping our life in balance.
What step will you take to start shifting your money mindset? Share in the comments below!